First Gen Latinas Battling the Crabs in a Bucket Mentality

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Photo: Pexels/ Liza Summer: https://www.pexels.com/photo/unsatisfied-diverse-women-having-argument-at-home-6382684/ By Dr. Lisette Sanchez March 27, 2025 – 09:55 “Maybe this degree isn’t for you.” “You don’t really need a doctoral degree.” That was not the response I expected when I reached out to a Latina advisor during a difficult moment in my doctoral program. In her words, I heard something else: Maybe your dreams are just too big. As a first-gen Latina, asking for help has always been a challenge. But I’ve learned to swallow my orgullo when I know support can help me move forward. So when I was struggling in my doctoral program, feeling lost and unsure how to navigate the obstacles in front of me, I gathered the courage to seek guidance. I assumed a fellow first-generation Latina would understand. I hoped she would offer resources, encouragement, or simply validate that what I was feeling was normal. Instead, I left that meeting feeling small, discouraged, and completely alone. At the time, I couldn’t fully name what was happening. But looking back, I recognize that this interaction reflected a dynamic I’ve seen far too often: the crab-in-the-bucket mentality. The concept stems from the idea of how crabs are placed in a bucket and when one tries to climb out, the others pull it back down, keeping it from escaping. It’s a metaphor often used to describe how people, sometimes unintentionally, hold each other back. In close-knit comunidades, this can show up as fear of change, insecurity, or the belief that success is only meant for a select few. For first-gen Latinas, this mindset feels deeply familiar. It is often reinforced by cultural values that were once rooted in protection but no longer reflect our current realities, or by beliefs shaped by generations who had to prioritize survival over growth. Sometimes it sounds like a loved one asking you to stay close to home instead of following a path farther away. Rooted in love, yes, but also in fear. Other times it is a friend saying, “You’re doing too much,” or “Why can’t you just be satisfied with what you have?” I’ve heard those words too. I’ve been encouraged to play it safe when I wanted to take a risk. These moments are often framed as concern or care, but beneath them lies a deeper fear. Fear that growth will create distance. Fear that success will change us. Fear that if we rise, others will be left behind. Fear that we might get hurt. Like my experience with that advisor. I don’t believe her comments were meant to discourage me. I believe she felt protective. She saw me struggling and wanted to offer a different path. I don’t fault her for that. But it speaks to a larger issue. Sometimes we unintentionally hold each other back. And sometimes we hold ourselves back by believing there aren’t enough opportunities to go around. The crab-in-the-bucket mentality is rooted in scarcity thinking. The belief that there is not enough to go around. It is common in communities that have been historically marginalized. When you grow up rarely seeing people like you in positions of influence or leadership, it is easy to internalize the message that those roles are not for you. That there is only room for one, maybe two, and that is it. When we absorb this way of thinking, we begin to question whether we even deserve those opportunities. We might silence our ambitions, doubt our decisions, or shrink ourselves so others feel more comfortable. We may start to believe we should settle. That we should be grateful for what we have and not ask for more.The fear of outgrowing the people we love can weigh heavily in cultures where connection, loyalty, and familia are central. These fears can lead to stress, guilt, and even burnout as we try to prove we belong while carrying the pressure of everyone’s expectations. Stay connected! Subscribe now and get the latest on culture, empowerment, and more. SIGN ME UP! Este sitio está protegido por reCAPTCHA y Google Política de privacidad y Se aplican las Condiciones de servicio . Thank You! You are already subscribed to our newsletter So how do we challenge this mindset? I always say knowledge is power. Understanding how our values and cultural beliefs can contribute to this mentality is a powerful first step. Many of these values are rooted in love and protection, but they can still unintentionally hold us back. It is also important to recognize how our thinking has been shaped by our lived experiences. For some, that may include being told directly that they did not belong. For others, it may come from never seeing people like them in the spaces they want to reach. As a therapist, I emphasize the importance of self-compassion. When people realize a certain belief or pattern is holding them back, their first instinct is often self-criticism. So I encourage you to be kind to yourself as you learn new ways of thinking and being. Once you have recognized these thoughts and accepted them without blame, it is time to take action. One powerful way to shift your mindset is by seeking guidance from people outside of the bucket. Sometimes we need distance from those who are too close to our struggle to see the full picture. We need mentors, voices, and communities that believe in possibility rather than limits. That support can come from a trusted advisor, a podcast, a book, or a friendship that uplifts you and celebrates your wins. Ultimately, it is important to remember that while the scarcity mindset may be rooted in real experiences of marginalization, your presence and persistence are proof that there is more than one path forward. You, a first-gen Latina, are a trailblazer. You have been breaking cycles simply by existing in spaces that were not built with you in mind. This reflection is not to shame, but to empower. You can keep growing, dreaming, and building a future that reflects your worth. Sí se puede In this Article Dr. Lisette Sanchez Featured first gen first gen mental health first generation latina Latina mental health latina therapist scarcity mindset More on this topic Culture Rigoberta Menchú: Human Rights Activist & Indigenous Leader March 26, 2025 – 09:00 Culture 15 Latinas Throughout History We Should Know About March 25, 2025 – 07:00 Culture Latinas & the Emotional Labor of Being the First to Heal March 19, 2025 – 10:06 Culture 16 Latinx Children’s Books Coming in 2025 March 14, 2025 – 17:00 Pesto de Cilantro Deliciosa receta de salsa pesto a base de cilantro. 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